Woman buys $340 tablet for friend's 25th birthday when other friends promise to split cost, contemplates returning it when nobody pays up: 'I agreed to spend $85, not $340'

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Ally Perry • Writer and Editor
Feb 21, 2026 9:00 AM EST

Good friends are true to their word.

Whether they are asked to keep a secret, help out with a difficult task, or pay their part of a shared expense, those who value their friendship with somebody should be able to show up when it matters and reassure them that they are good for it. Everybody knows that flakiness is one of the primary reasons that friends stop being friends with one another.

Nonetheless, many people seem happy to jeopardize their relationships with others if it seems to benefit themselves in the short term. They do not want to put in the work it takes to have somebody's back, even though that usually means that they will not get that kind of support in return. 

As with all types of relationships, money is a common issue in friendship conflicts. It's not uncommon for somebody to get ostracised because they demand payment for the pettiest of things, but by the same token, many are left feeling annoyed when they spend on something that isn't cheap, then their friends seem reluctant to contribute their share. When this is a longstanding problem, people are sometimes left with no choice but to take the kind of action that could be seen as drastic.

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  • a woman sits cross-legged on a bed with a laptop in front of her, holding a credit card
    via Vitaly Gariev

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • In this story, a group of four friends decided that they wanted to buy their other friend a tablet costing several hundred dollars for her 25th birthday. One friend offered to make the order, as she could get it delivered fast, and it was currently on offer.

    She did this with the expectation that everyone else would quickly send her their contribution to the cost. However, three weeks passed, and nobody else had given her any money. She was not willing to be the only person to pay for this expensive gift, so she considered returning it before her friend's birthday dinner. She wasn't sure if that would be the wrong move.

  • Would I be wrong if I return a group gift because no one ever paid me their share?

    About a month ago, four of us decided to get our friend something really nice for her 25th birthday.
    via papercoffeeclub
  • She's been talking about this specific tablet for ages, saying she'd never buy it for herself.
    via papercoffeeclub
  • Total was a little over $340 with tax. We agreed to split it evenly, so around $85 each.
    via papercoffeeclub
  • I offered to order it because I have Prime and it was on sale for like 48 hours.
    via papercoffeeclub
  • Everyone in the group chat said "yes do it!! I'll send my part tonight" and I stupidly believed that meant..
    via papercoffeeclub
  • tonight. I paid in full because the sale was expiring and I didn't want to miss it.
    via papercoffeeclub
  • It's been almost three weeks now. I've reminded them twice in the group chat and once individually.
    via papercoffeeclub
  • a one dollar, ten dollar, and twenty dollar bill stacked on top of one another against a plain background
    via Ryan Quintal
  • Every time I get "omg I forgot" or "I get paid Friday I promise" and then nothing.
    via papercoffeeclub
  • One of them even reacted with a heart to my reminder and still didn't send anything.
    via papercoffeeclub
  • The box is literally sitting in my living room unopened. Her birthday dinner is in two days and I'm starting to feel resentful.
    via papercoffeeclub
  • I can technically afford it but that's not the point. I agreed to spend $85, not $340.
    via papercoffeeclub
  • And I dont want to be the awkward person asking for money over and over like some kind of bill colector.
    via papercoffeeclub
  • There's still a return window for another week. Part of me wants to just send it back, get my money, and show up with something small and personal that I can actually pay for myself.
    via papercoffeeclub
  • But that will obviously change the whole dynamic and people will know why. I'm worried they'll say I'm ruining the surprise or being petty over "just money." But it's not just money, it's the principle and the fact that I feel taken advantage of.
    via papercoffeeclub
  • WIBTA if I return it and tell them since no one paid, I'm not covering everyone?
    via papercoffeeclub
  • a woman smiles as she sits cross-legged on a bed and uses her laptop
    via Vitaly Gariev

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • Amazing-Wave4704 Tell your friends it's going back tomorrow unless you get paid NOW. Then do it. And obviously never front them money again.
    via Amazing-Wave4704
  • Electronic-Bus-5350 I would send a message telling everyone to send their share of the payment within 24hrs or you're returning the gift. Then get your friend an individual gift. They are the one ruining the joint gift, not you.
    via Electronic-Bus-5350
  • Sfb208 Text the group, and tell them that unkess all of them have paid by the end of the day, you will be returning the group gift and buying your own solo gift for friend and they can all sort themselves out. If all but one pay you, thank them all, but say "as x has chosen not to honour their commitment, I'm going to refund everyone else their money and return the item, thank you to those who finally paid, but im afraid i won't be taken advantage of" Edited to correct typos
    via Sfb208
  • Spirited-Mission-273 Either return it and buy a single present. Or what I'd do is give her the tablet but put it just from you. You paid, its your gift. And if the others have a problem, tell them they had plenty of time to buy her something
    via Spirited-Mission-273
  • justReadingOf Send a group message telling them that unless everyone pays what they agreed to, you will be forced to return the gift. You still have a week so you can return it if they don't respond appropriately. Don't cut it too close though.
    via justReading0f
  • sheburn118 I was a contractor at a fair in SoCal working on site two days a week year-round and 7 days a week during fair time. I was fully part of their team. Every year, I ordered staff tshirts from a local shop. I ordered by size and color and paid on my personal credit card. About 30 people ordered multiple shirts and I NEVER had an issue with payment. Most actually prepaid. Then they got a new manager. The guy making six figures in the 90s. He ordered multiple shirts for himself, wife and k
    via sheburn118
  • -2rad4u- Don't even give them the chance to pay. Just send "Can't wait to see everyone soon. What did everyone get X for her birthday? I'm going out today to get her something." And when they reply "what about the tablet?" You can say "oh I returned it because I thought we weren't doing it anymore because NO ONE ever paid me."
    via -2rad4u-
  • Grouchy-Broccoli-885 Id return and not say anything further. You've already ask and reminded more than once. Send it back without another word amd show up with your individual gift. Let them look like the ah les they are.
    via Grouchy-Broccoli-885
  • LouieAvalon Mac NTA Look everyone nobody has sent me their share I cannot afford to pay for this item so I'm gonna return it later today I'll buy something I can afford for (name) individually tomorrow You've all really let me down and kept me out of pocket for three weeks I've learned - I won't be doing this ever again Then OP sit back and see what they do But nope I would not give them 24 hours. It's every single person, now today - or you return it later If a few people venmo you but not ever
    via LouieAvalonMac

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friendship birthday friends gift tablet online shopping return money entitled people
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